Monthly Archives: May 2016

Memorial Day 2016

To all the veterans out there, I offer my sincere thanks for your service.

I was born in 1944, during World War II. In the postwar years, every kid I knew had a family member who served in the military during WWII, most only their fathers, but a few mothers also served in the military. So fresh on everyone’s memory, WWII was a subject of great interest to us kids, especially the boys and no doubt many of the girls, as well. Some of the veterans we knew would (could) not talk about their experiences, but others did, and perhaps had a need to speak of what they went through. Some of the stories were of harrowing experiences, and some were funny.

My father was a doctor who served with the 5th Army in North Africa, Sicily, and Italy, and he loved to tell of his experiences, including his period he was the battalion surgeon with Darby’s Rangers, filling in for Darby’s wounded surgeon, or the time he was sent over to help the Germans get their hospitals better organized. Some of his stories were poignantly funny, like the time his father ordered a sleeping bag from Sears to be shipped to him overseas, and they accidentally shipped  a little red wagon instead. Sears made good on the sleeping bag and did a PR release on the story in the newspapers back home. The pic below is of him in his “sleeping bag.” The caption on the back reads, “A little cramped, a little hard, but an excellent sleeping bag. July 1943.”

Red Wagon

One of the most interesting stories was one told by my wife’s father, Bobby Cristina, of when he was shot down over Sicily. Bobby was a pilot and flew C-47s, which were the most advanced airliners of the prewar period, the Douglas DC3. Many airlines turned their DC3s over to Uncle Sam, and they became C-47 Skytrains, the workhorses of the war. They were such a great design and so easy to service, many are still in use in countries with limited repair resources.

C-37

It was on the night of the third day of the invasion of Sicily. Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery’s British 8th Army was making headway up the east coast of Sicily but faced a daunting obstacle, the Simeto River. One bridge crossed it, the Primosole Bridge. Monty needed to capture that bridge intact to use to cross the Simeto, or his advance would be stalled until another could be built by engineers. British paratroopers of the 1st Parachute Brigade of the 1st Airborne Division were to be dropped around the bridge to capture it and hold it until Monty and the rest of the 8th Army arrived. One hundred and five American C-47 aircraft of the 60th, 62nd, and 64th Troop Carrier Groups, plus twelve British aircraft towing gliders were to carry the British paras to the objective in what was called Operation Fustian.

It did not go well.

The aircraft were routed right over the invasion fleet just offshore and were mistaken for Germans and fired upon by the Allies. This very situation had been encountered only a few days earlier on the first day of the invasion with similar disastrous results, something Bobby stood up in the briefing and pointed out. But he was told that would not happen again. But it did. Four aircraft were shot down, and nine were so badly damaged they had to return to North Africa.

Surviving aircraft formations had become disorganized, and the remaining force straggled over the coast for the drop zone (DZ). Lieutenant Cristina’s C-47 was one of them. He told me, “Lane, as we crossed the coast (in the dark), the tracers were coming up all around us. It looked like someone had stoked a fire sending embers up the chimney.” Tracer bullets have burning phosphorus in the base for the gunners to  see where the rounds are going. They are usually every fifth round, so for every one you see, there are at least four more you do not see. What the Allies were unaware of is that very day the Germans had brought in their 1st Parachute Division for the purpose of defending that bridge. Thirty-seven planes were shot down, and ten were so badly shot up with dead and wounded crews and paratroopers onboard they had to abort and return to Africa.

Nearly half of the assaulting force was lost—shot down or forced to abort because of damage!

Bobby’s plane was hit many times. Their radio operator was dead, and several paras were wounded as they approached the DZ, which was only a little ways inland. Bobby managed to find it and get his paratroopers out. All the while they were facing concentrated antiaircraft fire from the Germans. The op plan called for them to make a one-eighty degree turn after dropping the paratroopers and egress the same way they went in. Neither Bobby nor his copilot thought that was a very good idea under the circumstances and decided to keep going west and then head south for their base in North Africa.

While the aircraft was badly damaged, it was still airworthy—until it was hit in the nose by antiaircraft fire, which started a fire onboard. With that, they had to abandon the aircraft and bail out. They had dropped the paras at a low altitude and had slipped even lower when they were hit in the nose. Bobby ordered his copilot out while he managed the wounded C-47 with the cockpit filled with smoke and flames. He gave the copilot what he thought was enough time to get out, and since he figured he was very close to the ground, he pulled the nose of the aircraft up to gain some altitude before he jumped. He climbed out of his seat and put on his parachute, only to discover it didn’t fit. His copilot, a much shorter man, had grabbed the wrong parachute. Bobby squeezed his long and lanky frame into the very tight harness and headed for the rear door to bail out.

By then the plane had rolled over on its side and was headed for the deck as Bobby ran along the windows on the left side of the plane to the side door. There he found his crew chief with a head wound and out cold. Bobby pushed him out the side door, which then faced the ground, and pulled his rip cord as he did. Bobby dropped through the door right after him, and knowing he was very close to the ground, he pulled his own rip cord, risking getting his chute fouled on the tail of the plane.

He fell into the night, and his chute streamed overhead. After what seemed like an agonizingly long time, it finally blossomed and filled with air—violently stopping his free fall—just as his feet touched the ground. One second longer, and he would have splattered.

With his plane crashed and burning a few hundred yards away and Germans all around, he crawled on his belly in the dark and found a hay stack to hide in. After it got quiet, he crawled out and found his crew chief also crawling around on his belly. He had survived the jump and was conscious again. They hid in a bomb crater all day without water or food. By night their tongues were swollen, and they crawled on their bellies to a farm house where they sought aid for the crew chief’s head wound and Bobby’s burns. The Italian family offered to hide them from the Germans, but they refused, knowing if the Germans found them hiding the Americans, they would kill the whole family.

So they crawled west to get away from all the activity on the coast with plans to head south and the British lines when it was safer. They finally decided they were far enough inland to walk, and they did—right into an Italian patrol of fourteen men led by one officer. The two groups saw each other at the same time and froze. The Italian officer called out, “Germani?” Bobby replied, “(Expletive deleted) no! Americans!”

The much relieved Italians promptly surrendered to the much relieved Americans.

With prisoners in tow, they headed south and eventually reached British lines, turned in their prisoners and caught a ship back to North Africa. Bobby’s family back home had already been notified he was MIA (missing in action), but the Red Cross sent them a telegram telling them he was “safe somewhere in North Africa.”

Later after Sicily was secured, Bobby returned to the crash site. The pic below is of him standing on the wreckage of his C-47. The copilot who jumped with the wrong chute died. His chute didn’t open. Whether it malfunctioned, or he was too close to the ground and he failed to pull the rip cord in time, is unknown.

C47 Wreckage

Some of the British paratroopers landed as much as twelve miles from the DZ, but two companies managed to land close to the bridge and did take it—and held it for Montgomery.

Bobby was awarded the Purple Heart for his wounds and the Silver Star for his heroic actions that night when he attempted to save the life of his copilot and did save the life of his crew chief—plus taking fourteen Italian prisoners. And by the way, he was unarmed. He had left his pistol back in the barracks in North Africa.

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Conversations With My Truck

Modern technology now allows us to have conversations with our vehicles. I drive a 2012 Ford F150 Crew Cab pickup. It came equipped with what they call “Sync,” which is a product by Microsoft (and that should tell you a lot about the product). In places like the Ford F150 forums and the privacy of many Fords, Sync gets called many other names, and the names are neither polite or flattering nor repeatable on a nice family blog like this one.

IMG_0788

What does Sync do? Besides infuriate you, that is. The idea, it seems, is Sync puts you “in sync” with your Ford.  Sync has a female voice, a rather irritating one. Microsoft must have recruited Nurse Ratched for the part.  She asks you questions, takes commands and executes them, so you don’t have to push buttons and get distracted by that. “Executes them” is a term that I say is open for discussion when applied to the Sync B****. Sometimes she does what you ask, and sometimes she argues with you and even pushes you around. And you want to know what “distracted” really looks like, just get into an argument with the Sync B****. (The linked video above is a bunch of Sync users at a therapy session.)

I’m not making this up!

Haven’t you ever seen someone driving down the highway yelling his head off and shaking his fist, and there was no one else in the truck or car? He wasn’t singing along to Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody on his iPhone Bluetoothed to the truck’s stereo. If he was in a Ford, he was probably having an argument with the Sync B****.

I have considered shooting her, but the engine would be in the line of fire—and I would only have to pay to get it repaired, not to mention explaining THAT to the police after some suspicious Ford dealer reported the bullet hole. I can see the police report now: “Claims he was mad at his truck, so he shot it.” That would not bode well when I renew my concealed carry permit.

You think I am joking? Let me give you a sample of a Sync B**** “conversation.”

 

Lane –  I want to listen to some tunes stored on my iPhone by connecting it to the truck’s stereo through Bluetooth, so I push the “media” button on the steering wheel

SB – Answers: “Line in. Say a command.”

Lane – “Bluetooth Audio” That should be all I need to say to establish a connection.

SB – “I did not understand you. You can say USB, next turn, line in, Bluetooth, leave massage…” And she rattles off a list of around thirty commands I can say that include everything from changing map directions to connecting my iPhone to the stereo via Bluetooth, which is what I want.

Lane – I punch the “media” button to shut her up, cutting her off at around “Update route…” (In retrospect, that may have made her mad.)

SB – “Line in. Say a command.”

Lane – The microphone is in the overhead console only about 15 inches from my mouth, but I say it  little louder, thinking that will help, “Bluetooth Audio.”

SB – “I did not understand you …”

Lane – I scream at her, “I didn’t stutter!” That didn’t help either.

SB – Unfazed by my outburst, she continues, “…You can say USB, next turn, line in…” and we go through the list again.

Lane – Back to the “media” button.

SB – Stops her list at “Say ‘Play’ if you …” Pause. “Line in. Say a command.” (Rinse and repeat.)

Lane – I considered spelling it, but went for emphasized enunciation instead, figuring anyone this stupid couldn’t possibly be able to spell. It came out something like this, “BLUE-TOOTH-AU-DIO.” You know, like when you are trying to explain something to someone who does not speak English and you don’t speak their language, so you say it in English very loud and slowly—as if that will help?

SB – “I did not understand you. You can say USB, next turn, line in…”

Lane – While I am shaking my fist at my truck’s dashboard, my mouth vomits out a string of profanities directed at HER.

Janis thinks I need professional help.

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It’s The Ride!

I like to paint, not walls, but pictures on canvas. I haven’t seriously painted anything since the early 1980s, well maybe a few but very few.

I also like to write stuff, like fiction, which should be obvious to anyone who frequents this site. I gave up painting years ago and began writing, but there was about a ten-year gap between those two events. Meanwhile, I was designing stuff, mostly advertising and packages. That filled in the creativity gap nicely and actually captured a time before it and after it. I make my living designing stuff.

All three would be considered to be among the creative arts. I want to stop designing stuff (retire) and begin painting stuff again, but also keep writing stuff.

And where is all this rambling about creative stuff going? I figured out why I quit painting stuff and why I want to start again. As part of that, I figured out why I like writing stuff.

(This will all make sense at some point, so hang in there.)

I met an artist through FaceBook, Eril Lee Gafill, a Big Sur, California artist, and I was really attracted to her style of painting, which is very different from my own. What I liked about her style was her ability to capture the subject, mostly landscapes and some still life studies, without a lot of laborious detail, and her paintings are full of raw energy. They are a delight to look at and study. What I deduced from that is she paints very fast, completing the piece is a matter of hours, maybe less in some cases, thus she is able to be very prolific. On the other hand, it takes me weeks and even months to complete mine. The difference is I labor over detail, plus I was doing it part time while designing stuff to feed my family and pay the rent.

I quit painting years ago because it became boring, and as I now describe it, rather than waiting weeks of months to enjoy what I created, I wanted more immediate gratification for my efforts.

Houmas House

Writing offered that immediate gratification. Even though the story might take many months or over a year to complete, the process of getting there is very gratifying. I enjoy writing the dialog between characters and the scenes I was setting up and seeing them come to life through what I was writing. I did not need the finished product to enjoy what I was doing. To me, they were alive in the present time instead of the distant future.

Think of it this way: You are sitting around a campfire, and someone is telling a story. And while it may take a long while to get to the conclusion, you are enjoying getting there as the drama builds.

Motorcyclist have a saying that perfectly captures this: It isn’t the destination, it’s the ride.

That’s what writing was for me, and painting was not. And that is why I gravitated to Erin’s style, BUT I was thinking in terms of the destination in the context of cutting weeks down to a few days at most. That is not quite the same as “the ride.”

I met Erin face to face for the first time last weekend. She was in NOLA for a showing of her paintings. She was quite busy, so we got to speak for only a few minutes, but it was a very enlightening few minutes for me. Trying to understand her style of painting better, I asked her about some of her techniques, and in the process of explaining how she worked, she commented that some artists only enjoy their work when it is finished, but for her, each brush stroke was a joy. She was enjoying the ride! That resonated with me, and I commented that I was an artist that only enjoyed his work when it was finished. Her reply was, “You probably paint very detailed.”

BINGO!

Houmas Door

Houmas Man

Houmas Tree

At that point it all came together for me. I connected why I like writing to why I didn’t enjoy painting. I really want to start painting again, but this time I want to work less detailed and enjoy the ride—each and every brush stroke.

Thank you, Erin! I look forward to learning more from you.

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