Backing up! Beep—Beep—Beep!

Toilet Desk SetAt my birthday party last night, we got to swapping some old stories. Some I will be sharing and some—well, maybe not. Here is one I was reminded of by a birthday gift. (That “desk accessory” on the left. I seem to have something of a reputation relating to toilets?)

With the onset of age comes what seems like a smaller bladder and, with that, perhaps a few trips to the bathroom at night.

Now, this is a challenge: You don’t want to wake up any more than absolutely necessary, otherwise going back to sleep gets iffy.

So, I make the trip in the dark and turn on no lights, guided only by moonlight or streetlight coming through the windows, lest I wake up more than necessary while getting the “job” done. Since there is not significant light for aiming purposes, and standing also tends to require more wakefulness—(getting my drift here?)—I sit. (OK, like a girl. Happy now?)

On this occasion, I’m sitting in the dark with my elbows on my knees, my head resting in my hands, and maybe even dozing a little during the eliminating process, trying desperately to maintain just enough wakefulness to avoid falling off the toilet but not wake up any more than absolutely necessary when …

I get the feeling I’m not alone.

I open my eyes and, in the weak light coming through the window, what fills my vision but Janis’ buttocks! She has the skirt of her nightgown hiked up and is backing up to the toilet—the one I’m occupying!

So, I calmly say, “Only one of us can fit on this thing, and I was here first.”

That was followed by a loud screech and a quick withdrawal of said buttocks.

Now, I’m wide awake from laughing.

Backing up! Beep—Beep—Beep!


Filed under Family History

3 responses to “Backing up! Beep—Beep—Beep!

  1. Candy Charters

    Oh, Lane – funniest piece ever! (My husband also sits during his multiple nightly trips to the loo….)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Like you, I have those trips and they are also made in the dark of
    the room, but I had never thought of “sitting” as a protective exercise
    against misaiming.

    Liked by 1 person

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